Dog Shaming

The night before last I awoke at 12.30 am to a foul smell in the bedroom. I put the light on and it revealed that Milo had pooped on the carpet. This is probably too much information but it was still warm, soft and gag inducingly odious. However I had to clean it up thoroughly and spray copious amounts of air freshner in the room to improve the air quality.

Having done all that I settled down to sleep again but Milo was having a restless night, perhaps his tummy was sore so at 3.30 am I took him into bed with me whereupon he snuggled down and descended into doggy dreams that involved paws pedalling against my body for the rest of the night.

Milo has also “discovered” our irrigation system and regularly pulls out pipes and risers for his Dad’s inspection. Also it appears that he is a digger but no serious holes have been discovered yet.

So having well and truly outed him when I came upon these pics I thought I would share them with you.

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Cape Town Slang

Slang and colloquialisms are prolific in Cape Town; a fact that’s far from surprising in a nation that claims 11 official languages and in a city that’s home to an eclectic mix of cultures. That said, locals in the Mother City and in the surrounding Western Cape, more so than, arguably, other South African provinces, have their own unique way of talking smack and waxing lyrical.

Much of the credit for the area’s broad spectrum of slang and colloquialisms is owed to the coloured people from the Cape Flats, a population vibrant in every way, but most famously, for the in the way in which they communicate. Though, ultimately, words, sound bytes and sayings from all of the nation’s official languages inject themselves into casual conversations, potent road rage and cheesy pick-up lines.

So, if you’re planning a visit to Cape Town, if you’re new to the city or if you simply need to brush up on your bantering act, then look no farther; we’ve put together a beginner’s guide to Cape Town slang and colloquialisms, complete with our version of accented pronunciation.

Ag (ah-ch): An expression of irritation or resignation. “Ag no man!” “Ag, these things happen”

Awê (ah-weh): A greeting. “Awê, brother!”

Babbelas (bah-bah-luss): Derived from the isiZulu word, ‘i-babalazi’, meaning drunk; adopted into the Afrikaans language as a term for ‘hangover’. “I have a serious babbelas!”

Bakkie (bah-kee): 1. A bowl. “Put those leftovers in a bakkie.” 2. A pick-up truck.  “We all jumped on the back of my dad’s bakkie and went to the beach.”

Befok (buh-fawk): 1. Really good, amazing, cool. “The Symphonic Rocks concert is going to be befok!” 2. Crazy, mad, insane. “You tried to put your cat in the braai? Are you befok?”

Bergie (bear-ghee): Derived from berg, Afrikaans for ‘mountain’. Originally used to refer to vagrants living in the forests of Table Mountain, the word is now a mainstream term used to describe vagrants in Cape Town.

Bra (brah), bru (brew): Derived from broer, Afrikaans for ‘brother’; a term of affection for male friends; equivalent to dude. “Howzit my bru!” “Jislaaik bra, it’s been ages since I last saw you!”

Braai (br-eye): Barbeque (noun and verb). “Let’s throw a tjop on the braai.” “We’re going to braai at a friend’s house.”

Duidelik (day-duh-lik): Cool, awesome, amazing. “That bra’s car looks duidelik!”

Eish (ay-sh): isiZulu interjection; an exclamation meaning ‘oh my’, ‘wow’, ‘oh dear’, ‘good heavens’. A: “Did you hear? My brother got into a fight with a bergie!” B: “Eish! Is he hurt!”

Ek sê, Eksê (Eh-k-s-eh): Afrikaans for, ‘I say’. Used either at the beginning or end of a statement. “Ek sê my bru, let’s braai tomorrow.” “This party is duidelik, ek sê!”

Eina (Ay-nah): An exclamation used when pain is experienced, ‘ouch!’. “Eina! Don’t pinch me.”

Entjie (eh-n-chee): A cigarette. “Come smoke an entjie with me.”

Guardjie, gaatjie (gah-chee): The guard who calls for passengers and takes in the money on a minibus taxi.

hhayi-bo (isiZulu), hayibo (isiXhosa) (haai-boh): An interjection meaning ‘hey’; ‘no way’.“Hayibo wena, you can’t park there!”

Howzit (how-zit): A greeting meaning ‘hi’; shortened form of ‘how’s it going?’

Is it?: Used as acknowledgement of a statement, but not to ask a question – as one might assume. Most closely related to the English word ‘really’. A: “This guy mugged me and said I must take off my takkies!” B: “Is it?”

Ja (yaah): Afrikaans for ‘yes’. A: “Do you want to go to a dance club tonight?” B: “Ja, why not?”

Ja-nee (yah-near): Afrikaans for yes-no. Meaning ‘Sure!’ or ‘That’s a fact!’ Usually used in agreement with a statement. A: “These petrol price hikes are going to be the death of me.” B: “Ja-nee, I think I need to invest in a bicycle.”

Jol (jaw-l): (noun and verb) 1. A party or dance club. “We’re going to the jol.” “That party was an absolute jol!” 2. Used to describe the act of cheating. “I heard he was jolling with another girl.”

Jislaaik (yiss-like): An expression of astonishment. “Jislaaik, did you see that car go?”

Kak (kuh-k): 1. Afrikaans for ‘shit’.  Rubbish, nonsense, inferior, crap or useless. “What a kak phone.” “Your driving is kak.”  2. Extremely, very. “That girl is kak hot!”

Kwaai (kw-eye): Derived from the Afrikaans word for ‘angry’, ‘vicious’, ‘bad-tempered’.  Cool, awesome, great. “Those shoes are kwaai.”

Lekker (leh-kah): 1. Nice, delicious. “Local is lekker!” 2. Extremely, very. “South Africans are lekker sexy!”

Mielie (mee-lee): Afrikaans term for corn, corn-on-the-cob.

Nee (nee-ah): Afrikaans for ‘no’.

Naartjie (naah-chee): Afrikaans term for citrus unshiu, a seedless, easy peeling species of citrus also known as a ‘satsuma mandarin’.

Potjie, potjiekos (poi-kee-kaws): Afrikaans term for pot food/stew comprised of meat, chicken, vegetables or seafood slow-cooked over low coals in a three-legged cast iron pot.

Shame: A term of endearment and sympathy (not condescending). “Ag shame, sorry to hear about your cat.” “Oh shame! Look how cute your baby is!”

Shisa Nyama (shee-seen-yah-mah): isiZulu origin – while shisa means ‘burn’ or to be hot and nyama means ‘meat’, used together the term means ‘braai’ or ‘barbeque’. “Come on, let’s go to Mzoli’s for a lekker shisa nyama!”

Sisi (see-see): Derived from both isiXhosa and isiZulu words for sister, usisi and osisi (plural). “Hayibo sisi, you must stop smoking so many entjies!”

Sosatie (soo-saah-tees): Kebabs, skewered meat. “Let’s throw a few sosaties on the braai.”

Takkies (tack-kees): Trainers, sneakers, running shoes. “I want to start running, again but I need a new pair of takkies.”

Tjommie, chommie (choh-mee): Afrikaans slang for ‘friend’. “Hey tjommie, when are we going to the beach again?”

Vrot (frawt): Rotten; most often used to describe food that’s gone off or a state of being sick. “Those tomatoes are vrot.” “Champagne makes me feel vrot!”

Voetsek (foot-sek): Afrikaans for ‘get lost’, much like the British expression, ‘bog off’. “Hey voetsek man!”

Wena (weh-nah): isiXhosa and isiZulu for ‘you’. “Hey wena, where’s the R20 you owe me?”

Wys (vay-ss): Show, tell, describe. “Don’t wys me, I know where I’m going.”

So, whether you’re asking for directions, engaging with the locals or just eavesdropping in a taxi, let’s hope this guide will give you some insight into what’s being said. And keep in mind, if anyone says “Joe Mah Sah…” just know, it’s not a compliment.

Source: Cape Town Magazine

Bolt from the Blue

On Saturday morning I woke up and did what I usually do, check my phone for messages and emails that come in overnight and right away my equilibrium spiralled into a tailspin of note.

There was an email from my daughter announcing that she and her partner and baby would be visiting SA next month and if we still wished to meet our granddaughter she would arrange a visit.

Those bloggers who have followed my blog will know that our family has been torn apart since 2009 when my daughter cut all communication with us. In 2010 she visited for her brother’s wedding but after that appeared to cut her brother out as well. I was unable to try and get a reason from her then as I did not want to do anything that could upset our son’s wedding and even though I invited her and her partner to visit us for a braai she never bothered to respond. When we got word last year that she was pregnant our heartache doubled. In March this year I travelled to the UK to track her down and meet my granddaughter but when I finally located her through the help of a community police officer she refused to see me and accused us, her brother included of harassing her. She has not acknowledged a birthday or Christmas since 2009 and even her brother’s recent birthday went unacknowledged.

We angst all weekend on how to respond to this bolt from the blue and eventually decided to respond warmly saying that we were looking forward to seeing them and meeting our granddaughter. The plan is then to tackle her face to face about where to from here. Is this a once-off or will we be allowed to be part of our granddaughter’s life and have a relationship with her in the future. At least that way if it ends badly we will finally know where we stand. To date she has refused to provide us with an explanation for her stance and has avoided any possibility of a face-to-face meeting. I am not going to let this opportunity pass without trying to clear the air once and for all.

To complicate matters further she has remained in contact with my BIL and SIL. They chose not to tell us about it until the baby was about to be born and were actively avoiding us since our son’s wedding although we could not figure out what was up. We no longer trust them at all and a subsequent altercation between OH and the SIL who was way out of line lead to an extremely unpleasant email from BIL resulting in us not being comfortable enough to attend our nephew’s wedding in March. There has been no contact since then. It would not surprise us at all if our daughter will be staying with them and SIL tries to play the peacemaker and host a family lunch to which we most definitely would not go. If there is going to be a reconciliation it will be on our turf.

When I returned from the UK in March I had resigned myself to never seeing my daughter again and never getting to know my granddaughter. I don’t know what has changed between now and March that she is prepared to see us now but I am not going to give her the opportunity to play games as she did in 2010. Some straight answers are required now and if she does not want a relationship with us going forward so be it.  I am stronger now than I was in 2009/2010 and my visit to the UK this year proved to me that I can endure the worst heartache and survive if need be.

Playing with Words and Places

I have been in many places, but I’ve never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can’t go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.

I’ve also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.

I have, however, been in Sane. They don’t have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family and work.

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I’m not too much on physical activity anymore.

I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.

I’ve been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.

Sometimes I’m in Capable, and I go there more often as I’m getting older.

One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!

And, sometimes I think I am in Vincible but life shows me I am not!

Dreams, idiots and near misses

Here we are – Friday again with the promise of a warm weekend, if not summery weekend ahead.

I plan to visit the garden centre tomorrow for some inspiration and on Sunday when our gardener comes I will work alongside him for the first time in months. The garden is inundated with hairy caterpillars and snails. Far too much shade caused by neighbour’s overgrown shrubs that are now double the height of their roof.  This is something I want to address with him as I’d like to offer that the gardener under my supervision reduces the height by at least half to give my lawn a chance of producing more than just winter grass and weeds.

Yesterday I was on my way to collect OH from work when an idiot jumped in front of my car. Yes I mean an idiot/a-hole and I did mean jumped.  He was on the sidewalk and I saw him look at me and the next thing he jumps into the road right in front of me.  Fortunately for him and me my new car has wonderful brakes otherwise he would not have escaped without injury. When I came to a stop he was right in the middle of my car and I think we did make some form of contact he was so close.

When I arrived to collect OH I asked him to check the front of the car for damage but fortunately there was none.  I was completely shaken up by the experience. It is the first time in decades of driving that I have come so close to actually knocking someone over.

So here’s a question for fellow bloggers: Do you ever dream about something and then weeks later dream about the thing you dreamt about before actually happening and recognise in your dream that you dreamt about it before?

If that’s too complicated here’s an example in point form:

  1. I dream that a function that I arrange annually turns into a total disaster when the guest of honour is late and there are far too many no-shows.
  2. I dream a few weeks later that I am at the function and everything is going wrong, not only are there no-shows but people are getting up to leave after only half an hour. I remember in my dream that I dreamt that this would happen.

On the subject of dreams I often dream repeatedly about the same non-existent (in real life) places. I often dream I am at boarding school (I never ever went to boarding school). Some dreams are so involved and detailed that it’s hard to accept that it was a dream and not reality.

I would be interested to know if others dream as much as I do (every night’s an adventure) and if they remember as much detail afterwards.  Sometimes the detail is not there when I wake up but comes to me during the course of the day.

Have a great weekend blogfriends.

Power outage

We were woken up at 11.30 pm on Monday night by a phone call from our alarm company who had detected a power failure. As we struggled around in the dark (and OH trying to find his feet and moon boots) we realised that our entire neighbourhood was in darkness. After ascertaining that all was well in our house we went back to bed.  I just could not get back to sleep and ended up reading for quite a while, thank goodness for a Kindle with a cover with a built in light J

When we woke up at 7.00 am still no power, phoned the electrical fault line whose automated service informed me that overhead cables were down in our area but over private property and they were waiting for the morning to get access.

9.00 am still no power, thank heavens for a gas hob, and camping toaster – at least we could have breakfast.

10.00 am still no power, both laptop and netbook batteries were flat and I had to prepare for a meeting, not to mention fix my hair. Tried gas hot brush – would not ignite L

11.00 am still no power although there was now evidence of electricity department truck in our area.

11.30 am left early for meeting to hook up to power for laptop and do necessary meeting preparation.

BTW our electric gate has NO battery back-up so had to push/shove it manually, it is very wide and very heavy!

At the corner encountered ADT van plus multiple electricity department trucks and people standing around in the street trying to contact the owners of a house for permission to access the property – this is now coming up 12 hours after the power first went out!

Thankfully when I returned home at 3.00 pm the power had been restored.

Now I have to ask myself why they did not arrive early enough to catch the residents of the entire stretch before they left for work to arrange access instead of starting at one house and expecting the other neighbours to be there when they needed to move on to the next section. Surely this would have just been common sense?

In other news OH saw his surgeon on Monday afternoon and had his bandages finally removed, thereafter he saw the physio and has exercises to do three times a day for the next 3 – 4 months. He still has to wear his moonboots for the next three weeks and is not allowed to drive yet so I will still be getting him to and from work three times per day as he comes home for lunch. Thank goodness his work is only one and half km from our home!

I have loads of work to get through this week so I’d better pull myself towards myself and get on with it.

Ozzy is fooled once again

Hello Bloggers and Blogdogs, Ozzy here sneaking a post whilst Mom’s back is turned.

I just have to tell you all what was done to me this morning. The indignity, the deception, the bribery, oh my doggy soul I have been fooled once again.

I should have twigged when Mom started collecting my blankets from my bed and kennel and put my bed in pieces out in the sun. I should have twigged when she put me and Milo out the front door and I saw her picking up my lead as the door closed on us.

Naturally she did not want me to see her collecting towels, shampoo etc. When she called us in again Milo was kept in the kitchen and I was invited through to the bathroom. The moment my eyes fell on the scene before me I knew what was to come. Suddenly the bathroom door opened and in slipped P, who comes to clean every Friday. P is another of my favourite people and always gives me a good old hug when she arrives so I was most upset at her being part of this ambush. To think that they thought that placing treats on the edge of the bath and right around to the other side of the bath would entice me to climb in of my own accord – over my dead body!

With P’s help Mom got me into the bath even though I put up a bit of a fight and hooked my lead onto a hook so I could not go anywhere. I tell you I shook and shivered in fearful anticipation of what was to come. I heard the water start running and stubbornly refused to be enticed by the treat that P was offering me.

Then Mom started showering me with warm water and to tell the truth, it was quite pleasant, even though I don’t like to admit it. Then Mom and P started to rub shampoo into my fur in, I am ashamed to say, a rather nice massaging way, damn I was starting to enjoy this bath business. When all of me had been scrubbed, massaged and rinsed again with warm water Mom threw a big dry towel over my body and rubbed me dry. Mom and P then stood back and suggested that I get myself out of the bath. Well OK, now they know I can jump out they will expect me to jump in all by myself next time but before I jumped out I turned around and ate all the remaining treats on the far side of the bath even if they were a bit waterlogged.

Now all my bedding has gone into the washing machine and all the familiar smells will be replaced by the too clean smell of Skip.  I suppose this is all for my own good but a big boy like me has got to put up some sort of protest at being bathed, don’t want anyone to think that I am a sissy.

Bleugh ….

That’s how I feel. The past few days my batteries have run flat, my get up and go has departed without a by-your-leave and all I desire is to curl up in bed and sleep.

I am behind with work, forgetful, tired, and disinterested in life. I don’t have an explanation for this. Maybe I am depressed, maybe I am just tired, maybe I am depressed and tired.

All I know is that I can’t wait to crawl into bed at night and dread getting up in the morning. I have so much to be thankful for yet I am bored to tears with my work, my lifestyle and feel desperately in need of a major change – something that will re-energise my mind, soul and body.