English Lessons

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1. Exaggeration is a million times worse than understatement.

2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

3. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.

4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They’re old hat).

6. Always avoid annoying alliteration.

7. Be more or less specific.

8. Also, too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.

9. Contractions aren’t helpful and shouldn’t be used.

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10. One should never generalise.

11. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

12. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

13. One-word sentences? Eliminate.

14. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

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15. Kill all exclamation points!!!!

16. Puns are for children, not groan readers.

17. Who needs rhetorical questions?

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10 thoughts on “English Lessons

  1. Hysterical!
    You are delightful and at once surprising! I know having a glass of wine with you would be the best time this Baroness could be entertained with. .
    Your sense of humor optie is something I treasure. You make me smile BIG!

    There…, their…, they’re….. now friend~

    • I would love to have a glass of wine with you BB but I think it we would need a bottle we would have so much to talk about.

      I can’t claim ownership of the content of my post but I can say that when I read it for the first time it appealed to my sense of humour and love of the intricasies of the English language and I just had to share it.

      • Okay I was being frugal when I said glass. Why not let is each bring a bottle to the table and we will make it an all night talk fest, I am on way to SA as I write. 😉

        How wonderful that would be. I will add this on to my bucket list optie. it would be a blessing in my life. Dreaming all possibilities can happen.

        I think it was your own keen sensibilities for which you posted this It was new to me. I still am chuckling because I am guilty of some of these I am sure, so there is a sheepish grin on my face as I applaud this piece. shh…don’t tell.

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