1. Exaggeration is a million times worse than understatement.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They’re old hat).
6. Always avoid annoying alliteration.
7. Be more or less specific.
8. Also, too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
9. Contractions aren’t helpful and shouldn’t be used.
10. One should never generalise.
11. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
12. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
13. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
14. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
15. Kill all exclamation points!!!!
16. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
17. Who needs rhetorical questions?