Still stressed

After two weeks of stress, sleepless nights and anxiety I found out yesterday that my major client is cutting my fee by 20%, based on comparing apples and pears, oh and greed!

It’s not as bad as the two-thirds cut they first mentioned but it is still significant for our little budget and sacrifices will have to be made until I can find a way to make up the deficit. So I will be working harder and longer for less.

But what makes me the most upset is the way this has been handled, there was no regard for the emotional trauma that I have endured for the past two weeks, not knowing how bills will be paid. And this from people that I have had a very good working relationship with until now!

hate-bear

So whilst I still have an income, albeit reduced, the joy I had in working with this client has evaporated and I don’t know if I will ever get it back.

Added to that I am having to deal much more closely with some prime a/holes instead of working at a respectable safe distance and that will increase my frustration levels if the past two weeks are anything to go by.

Hands

It’s hard to get your head around being told for years that you are doing such a great job and then have your fee cut by 20% for no good reason. The restructuring that is behind the cut in my fee has not been thought through very well at all.  I asked a simple question about procedures and was made to feel like I had asked a stupid question. I am now at the mercy of the administratively ungifted.

Prayer

I spent another sleepless night last night trying to work through my emotions and today I feel like absolute sh1t. I know I will get over this and maybe even something better will come up but two weeks of extreme anxiety has taken its toll on my physical and emotional health. This is all I can manage at the moment:

Hug the dog

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11 thoughts on “Still stressed

  1. You have to convince yourself that things are never as bad as you think they are. I think we tend to take all of the problems at once instead of separating them and sorting them one at a time. Life gets rather complicated at times and we get overwhelmed by circumstances that seem out of our control. Life as you get older just seems to get more complicated. 🙂

    • I certainly think it Col but feel too vulnerable to say it right now. I had hoped to continue with this work for another 5 years and then retire too, that’s why the need to be able to save money, not just survive now is so important. Maybe when my mind and body has recovered from the trauma of the past two weeks I will find my self confidence again and actively look for a new opportunity to fill the gap in our budget. A good working relationship has been severely damaged by the way this was handled and its going to be difficult to recover my enthuiasm and passion for the work.

    • I did just that Cocoa and last night took a sleeping pill plus two pain killers for the thumping headache which has hardly left me for the past two weeks and slept from 9.30 pm to 4.30 am without waking – bliss. After a bathroom visit I was able to get back to sleep again and finally got up at 7.30 am feeling a lot stronger than I have for days.

  2. I am so sorry to hear about all your troubles, I hope that things sort themselves out soon so you can have peace of mind……is there any way that maybe you can find new clients so you can replace that income with new clients?

    • Thanks annie, I will definitely be looking for another client to make up my income deficit but as I plan to retire in 5 years time, taking on a new big client might not work well for me. In 5 years or sooner we want to be living in the country and enjoying a change of lifestyle. If they had gone ahead with the 60% cut first mentioned we would probably have just taken that as sign to sell up and move to the country sooner because even though we would not have been able to add 5 years of saving to our retirement capital staying in the city and only just surviving would amount to the same thing.

    • Thank God for the dogs, they know when you need a cuddle! I made it very clear that this has to be put in writing because the arrangement that has stood for so many years has been dishonoured and that makes me feel extremely insecure going forward.

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