In praise of exercise …
It is well documented that for every mile that you jog, you add one minute to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month.
The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.
I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven’t lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
I don’t jog; it makes the ice jump right out of my glass.
I used to watch golf on TV, but my doctor told me that I need more exercise; so now I watch tennis.
If exercise and work pay off in the future, shouldn’t laziness pay off now?
A daily exercise regime never killed anyone, but why chance it?
Isn’t having good health merely the slowest possible way you can die?
The act of banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 80.
She’s 97 now and we don’t know where the heck she is.
The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.
I don’t exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up on our body.
I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.