Fecking Flies

It started off as a lovely morning

It was warm and getting warmer

There was no wind to speak of

Our gardener arrived and was put to work

I hit the office and tried to get some work done inbetween supervising the gardener

It was getting hot

I thought that maybe it would be a good idea to cross something off my Christmas “To Do List”

So I took out the chicken livers to defrost

It got even hotter

Then I thought that maybe it would be a good idea to make the chicken liver pate earlier rather than later before the sun came around to the kitchen

So I set to work

And then they arrived


In droves

They brought all their friends and family for the feast


I must have swatted dozens in all


While trying to stir fry the livers at the same time


Take food mixer and blender out of the cupboard  …..while swatting flies

Start transferring chicken liver mixture to blender jug  …..while swatting flies

Notice liquid dripping from bottom of blender jug

Thought I had messed  …..while swatting flies

Could it be that easy – NO

Blender jug is leaking  FECK, FECK, FECK

blender Put pan of chicken livers in oven because of the FLIES


Unpack other blender with cracked jug …. while swatting flies

Run finger around inside of jug to see how bad the crack is just in case I could use it

Crack worse than I remembered, sliver of glass in finger, now bleeding AND swatting flies

Run to bathroom to find a band-aid

Take 10 minutes struggling to open plaster while bleeding AND SWATTING FLIES

bandaid on finger

During this time the flies must have sent for reinforcements

The kitchen was alive with them


I swatted, and swatted, and swatted (AND SWORE!)

Start to make gardener’s lunch – still swatting flies

Feed gardener

Pack dishwasher …  while swatting flies

Clean surfaces

Hubby comes home for lunch

Tell him about the blender and the flies – “WHAT FLIES”, he asks

Take pan of chicken livers out of the oven and stick my head inside instead – TO ESCAPE THE FLIES!