How do you handle invites?

Dinner Party

What would you do if you invited friends to your home for a meal/braai and they said they will check with their partner and get back to you but you still have not heard from them on the day the invite was for?  And this was not the first time they had not responded to an invite – would you

a.            follow up with them

b.            assume they are coming

c.            assume they are not coming and make other plans

I would be interested to hear if this has happened to anyone else, and if so how they handled it.

In my case I opted for (c) but they arrived anyway. I had nothing prepared and to cut a long story short they left again.

When we receive an invite the answer is a prompt and courteous yes or no.  If there is any doubt that we can make it I’d rather say no thank you than keep someone hanging on as they might want to invite others in our place.

I am rather used to business invites being treated with indifference but I expect more from my friends. Can’t help feeling really disillusioned about this at the moment.


One thought on “How do you handle invites?

  1. In my humble opinion, I think it’s really rude for people not to respond, and it’s even more thoughtless to then just show up. The closest thing that’s happened to me once was when a friend and I made tentative – CLEARLY tentative – plans to meet for lunch on a particular day and we agreed to email each other with a definite yes or no. I emailed her that the date was good for me, but I never heard from her. Because we’d been friends for over 20 years, I felt comfortable calling her two days before and asking if she could make it or not. Turned out she thought she’d emailed me that she could make it, but as she checked her “sent” file, she saw she hadn’t. So personally I’d opt for (a) to avoid any misunderstandings or potential hard feelings, but not until a few days before the event so as not to be pushy. Sometimes social situations can be delicate balancing acts!

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