Small steps, but definitely progress

A quick update as work pressures are huge at present.  We said goodbye to our daughter, her partner and granddaughter last week before they flew back to the UK and I followed up on the weekend with a short email wishing her well for her return to work today after a year’s maternity leave. I was surprised and heartened to receive an email from her yesterday saying that they had had a good trip home and that LT was an angel on the flight. She also thanked me for all the pressies we bought for LT and said that she would give her a kiss and a hug from us.

After nearly four years of silence this is better than I had dared hope for but I know it will take time for the closeness we had to return and it’s not something that can be rushed. At least if we have contact we can talk about everyday things like we used to and she can share LT’s milestones with us.

On Saturday OH was assisting our DIL with new business premises she has acquired as our son is away on business. He asked her about the fact that our daughter did not see her brother at all and found out that when our daughter emailed her brother to say she was coming to SA and asked for my email address (not sure why she would not have had it unless she had deleted all my emails) he replied and tore into her for what she had put us through and accused her of making her father sick (the heart attack in January) and said that she could not just walk back into our lives as if nothing had happened. He added that she better be genuine this time as opposed to when she came out for his wedding in 2010. DIL said he was very harsh with her and that is no doubt why she did not contact him again.  However these things did need to be said but it would not have done our cause any good if we had been the one’s to say it. I know that he was only trying to protect us from further hurt. Our son is not one to bear grudges and I am sure that when he sees that the reconciliation is genuine he will be more than happy for us and also to reconcile with her himself.

At last we are beginning to really feel like grandparents – just wish LT was not so very far away.


More good news

Just had a call from my daughter to say that they would like to pop in again later today and would we be home. Oh my joyous heart, my beloved daughter is back, I could totally hear it in her voice.

More time with our delightful LT is just what we need. OH will be coming home early today to ensure he does not miss a second of their company.

At least I have had a chance to get my equilibrium back and stem the flow of tears.

Beyond comprehension

There are times when people do things that are simply beyond comprehension, where no rational reason can be found.

We had one such experience this past weekend. BIL was in hospital having undergone a hip replacement on Wednesday. We had ascertained that the surgery had gone well so on Saturday OH called his brother on his cell phone which was not answered and he left a message. SIL called back and ranted on about why did he not call her because BIL was in ICU and could not have his phone and was not doing well – all sorts of complications had set in. She was on a roll and completely irrational not allowing OH to get a word in edgeways so he said he was gobsmacked and speechless and cut the call. Immediately she called back but he did not answer. Her voice mail was just as mad and full of anger and self pity.

OH later called the hospital because he was concerned about his brother as he had not really got a coherent answer on his condition. He asked for ICU and was told he had been moved out of there days ago. ICU transferred him to the ward where his brother was and he spoke directly to him. Amazingly BIL is doing fine, had been up and walking, no complications and was perhaps going home the following day. He did not mention to his brother that there had been a problem with his wife and his brother did not mention it either so maybe she did not say anything to him. Before putting him through to his brother he asked the sister if there was anyone with him and she said “no his wife has just gone, thank goodness, we had to ask her to leave”! No doubt she was creating drama there too.

Now I ask what on earth was my SIL thinking by spewing all that crap and once again creating drama in the family? You just can’t reason with this sort of madness and I’m not sure I even want to try.